After my Utah trip with Revolve, I got extremely sick. I was so sick that I couldn’t get out of bed. I hardly ever get sick with the flu or even catch a cold and even if I did, I’m still able to function and within a day (or two) I’m able to get back up and go to work.
Well, this time it was different. I realized I was both physically and mentally just exhausted. I had the worst eczema breakout I’ve ever had and even though I was waking up super early in the morning, getting out of bed was so hard. I decided I was going to take the day off. No emails, no discussing work with the team, but just rest.
That went on for two days. Not going to lie, I did check my emails but I didn’t respond to any. I check Instagram probably every couple of hours or so but during those two days, I posted one photo. Like a creature of habit, I scrolled through my Instagram feed to see what people were posting, and I just logged off.
I slept. Did an insane amount of thinking. Why am I breaking out so bad? What did I eat? How can I get better? Oh shit, I have so much work to catch up on. Ugh, I don’t want to think about it right now. Ok, I’m just going to watch TV. Wait, how do I turn on this TV? Man, I’m hungry. *Opens the refrigerator, there’s nothing but leftover canned tuna and kimchee* Fine, I’ll cook tuna with kimchee and Postmates some food.
As I finally figured out how to turn on my very smart TV and finished the entire season one of Santa Clarita Diet which is semi-gory but lighthearted and hilarious, I felt better.
Because I hadn’t just chilled at home watching TV on a weekend, nonetheless on a weekday, my dad got worried. He knew I wasn’t feeling well but he had never seen me not on the computer or my phone— just doing nothing. Few days later, I talked with my dad and we both realized why I was sick. I was burnt out.
Too tired of traveling, too tired of working so much.
When I started this blog, it was purely just a hobby. I had no intention of turning it into a business. I was 20, a freshmen in college (yes, I went to college a couple years later than most) had just interviewed at the San Francisco Design Center for an internship and I was working at a clothing store in the mall just for the awful 30% discount.
I love traveling. I love getting dressed. I love that I get to meet and connect with so many amazing people. I love that I’m creating a life that I didn’t realize was even feasible. But why am I stressed? What’s missing? I’m starting to achieve certain career milestones that I’ve always wanted but I guess I can’t help but feel overwhelmed at the same time. Trying to find that work-life balance is always hard. And with the rise of everything, I don’t want to be that blogger or influencer that creates just to create. I want to be able to create more meaningful things.
I needed the few days off to remember, why I started. That usually puts the focus back.
Remember why you started.
I love the idea of sharing and the sense of community. I love being able to give you an idea of how to wear a piece by showing you how I styled it. Or when you buy the same favorite pair of denim that I’m obsessing over. Or even when I get a comment saying you also bought the same bag as mine. It’s extremely flattering and although I’m just getting dressed and styling myself, it feels like an accomplishment. Oh, I inspired someone today through my style.
Throughout the years, my interests broadened and so have my blogging topics. I started caring about skincare and when I found a product that worked on my sensitive skin with eczema and I love sharing that with you all. I even love sharing my travels and where to go in what city or what to do. So throughout the years, my blog became more of a lifestyle blog. I would share my travels, the pieces I bought, the makeup trick I just learned, the restaurants I like, and occasionally recipes.
But the older I got, the more I cared about what was going on the world I was living in. I mean, I saw injustice everywhere in real life but those weren’t things I really talked about on the blog. It’s something I’d discuss with my group of friends in real life. With the rise of social media, it was easy to get vocal. It’s easy to voice your opinions on Twitter and it’s easier to write out your feelings on Instagram captions. With this, I became much more aware of my surroundings outside of fashion.
I think we all can have different aspects of ourselves. Just because we like fashion doesn’t mean we don’t care about other interests. Yes, this started out as a fashion blog, and I’m called a fashion blogger, but I have feelings and interests outside of fashion too!
You know that feeling when you’re flipping through a magazine and stop because an image captured your attention? Or all of the sudden, you look at how something is styled and you go, “wow, that’s good.” That’s what I want to do with everything I create. Every post I publish, I want to inspire you in some way and perhaps because I put so much energy into this while trying to keep it effortless and easy, I might have overworked myself. Yes, being a blogger or an influencer looks easy and fun, but it doesn’t mean that it is easy. The bigger your blog gets and the more you focus on it as a full time career as well as a creative endeavor, the more work it is.
I’d love to hear more from you guys on what you do when you’re feeling like this as well as why you started following me. What made you continue to follow my journey whether it’s on my blog, Youtube channel or Instagram? Is there anything you wish I had done differently?
If you made it this far, thank you for reading and for sticking around.