It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year yet I can’t help but feel a little down every holiday season. Anyone else with me? I never felt more alone than during the holidays. I felt unloved because growing up, we never had traditional holiday dinners at home where the entire family including your extended family comes together at a dinner table, laughing, exchanging jokes around a nice home cooked meal. Instead, it was always Dani and I alone at home. The most holiday spirit we ever got was renting a holiday movie from Blockbusters (RIP.) For Thanksgiving, our tradition was to go to KFC with our dad and eat mashed potatoes and gravy. When we were on our mom’s side, it was just a small home cooked meal and eating leftovers that our best friends Benita and Sam would bring us over from their family dinner. Anyways, this post isn’t to talk about my sad and depressing childhood but to actually share that those humble moments really shaped who I am as a person today. I can’t remember exactly when (maybe it was when I was old enough to drive?) but Dani and I started going to downtown L.A. to feed homeless people on the streets. We’d togo KFC or make PB&J for them and sometimes would just drive around the streets of hollywood to hand out food to them. That really brought so much joy to me. The moment when I hand out the food and they look into my eyes and say “God bless you” and I’d say, “Stay warm, Merry Christmas.” Over the years, holidays got a little less sad for me. I started creating my own traditions such as gathering my non Christmas celebrating friends and going to downtown L.A. as a group to help out homeless people or like last night, having a bunch of my close friends come over for a Christmas Eve dinner.
I hope no one is feeling lonely this holiday season and if you are, I just want you to know that it gets better. Trust me. Also, it’s never a bad idea to start creating traditions for yourself. Even though holidays were super dreadful for both my sister and I, we started making small traditions and tried to enjoy the moment. What would make you happy now? Maybe it’s sleeping in, hiking and taking in the fresh air, traveling. Also, if you hate being alone, I highly recommend going out and helping out those who are in less fortunate situations. Oh, I forgot. Our other new tradition with our mom was to go to the Grove and watch a movie on Christmas. It was just the three of us but it felt special and less depressing. Never too late to start a tradition! Sending you all much love this holiday season and Merry Christmas. Thank you for being by my side. I love you all!