Personal Song of Style

Merry Christmas, Starting a New Tradition


It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year yet I can’t help but feel a little down every holiday season. Anyone else with me? I never felt more alone than during the holidays. I felt unloved because growing up, we never had traditional holiday dinners at home where the entire family including your extended family comes together at a dinner table, laughing, exchanging jokes around a nice home cooked meal. Instead, it was always Dani and I alone at home. The most holiday spirit we ever got was renting a holiday movie from Blockbusters (RIP.) For Thanksgiving, our tradition was to go to KFC with our dad and eat mashed potatoes and gravy. When we were on our mom’s side, it was just a small home cooked meal and eating leftovers that our best friends Benita and Sam would bring us over from their family dinner. Anyways, this post isn’t to talk about my sad and depressing childhood but to actually share that those humble moments really shaped who I am as a person today. I can’t remember exactly when (maybe it was when I was old enough to drive?) but Dani and I started going to downtown L.A. to feed homeless people on the streets. We’d togo KFC or make PB&J for them and sometimes would just drive around the streets of hollywood to hand out food to them. That really brought so much joy to me. The moment when I hand out the food and they look into my eyes and say “God bless you” and I’d say, “Stay warm, Merry Christmas.” Over the years, holidays got a little less sad for me. I started creating my own traditions such as gathering my non Christmas celebrating friends and going to downtown L.A. as a group to help out homeless people or like last night, having a bunch of my close friends come over for a Christmas Eve dinner.

I hope no one is feeling lonely this holiday season and if you are, I just want you to know that it gets better. Trust me. Also, it’s never a bad idea to start creating traditions for yourself. Even though holidays were super dreadful for both my sister and I, we started making small traditions and tried to enjoy the moment. What would make you happy now? Maybe it’s sleeping in, hiking and taking in the fresh air, traveling. Also, if you hate being alone, I highly recommend going out and helping out those who are in less fortunate situations. Oh, I forgot. Our other new tradition with our mom was to go to the Grove and watch a movie on Christmas. It was just the three of us but it felt special and less depressing. Never too late to start a tradition! Sending you all much love this holiday season and Merry Christmas. Thank you for being by my side. I love you all!


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  1. Ming chaw says on December 28, 2017

    Thank you for sharing your story on your depression issues, just when we thought you had it all it’s not always what it appears. But Don’t give up Aimee! Are you taking medication for you mental illness to help you?

  2. I just feel like you but in my case we celebrate Christmas every year, but i feel so lonely and sad, when i grow up and a just star to do my own things I didn’t feel the christmas like the past years, like a child i feel loved and not lonely, but when i grow up i don’t feel nothing., I don’t feel the christmas , the family, the love. Somethins i feel sad, depressed my anxiety just breaks me in two parts and i feel my life just broke.
    Thank you because you shared your story with us, you’re amazing. Xo

  3. Sessina W says on December 26, 2017

    good morning Aimee.
    what a sweet and heart-warming post,sending you and your family lots of love.
    i think what makes you a great person is you have a big heart and great personality.
    such a role model,hope i can be such a cool person as you.

  4. Thanks for sharing your story! It’s awesome that you to help homeless people! I admire you for more than that. I ask myself if it’s possible to feel down even when you celebrate christmas with the family – with a christmas dinner, presents and christmas music. My parents aren’t in love anymore and my brothers have a few problems. I thought this christmas would be a bit different. I think the sadness comes because for me it’s the most beautiful time in year and I wish, it’s the most beautiful time with the family.

    Anyway, I hope next christmas is better for all of us! Love, Pantika. <3

  5. Samantha says on December 26, 2017

    Aimee, I just found your YouTube channel because of your video on how to style the slip dress. It was the best how to style I’ve ever watched. I am now addicted to your channel and blog. You are super stylish, with a charismatic soul. Your energy is so beautiful and you seem super humble yet strong. It is very refreshing too see. Keep up the good work. I look forward to supporting your adventures. I wish you all the best.

  6. silvia citterio says on December 26, 2017

    You are so sweet and lovely. I feel a little down every holiday season too. I divorced from my husband, after 13 years, 3 years ago, and we have a lovely daugther, 12 years now. She always is with papà for Christmas, because his family is really big and she has a lot of fun. I’m happy for her, but for me is a bit depressing.
    I have another man now, but I can’t have a real relation, I’m too scared… and not so young (43). I don’t think I’ll have another family or another child.
    You have a lot of people that love you, and you are young: and you have Jacopo (or Iacopo?, I’m italian!). I hope you’ll have a great 2018 and you’ll be fine. Really. I admire you. Love, Silvia. Sorry for my bad english…

  7. babe this is amazing, but you wrote ‘we’d togo KFC’, maybe you meant we’d go to KFC?
    im not exactly sure if it’s a spelling error but i love the content.

    keep up this amazing work Aimee, i look up to you!!

    I’m also trying to start a youtube channel (along with my friend Chuli from South Africa). We’re sending each other videos – me from Bali, Indonesia, Chuli from Port Elizabeth, S.A. -interviewing adolescents discussing universally related topics :) we’re just newly start-ups tho, baby-YouTubers, started recently !!

    if you’re interested, please do give our video a watch, my video is on Art Universities, it’s around 5 minutes !! This is nothing promotional tho… i just wanted to let you know that your aesthetic is really cool and you’re doing an amazing job !

    love from Bali,
    Grace liu

    my insta:

  8. So touching and beautifully written… I’m a firm believer that we decide on what our traditions are and that it’s absolutely fine if they’re not exactly the same as everybody else’s.
    I didn’t had the most traditional holidays in over 10 years and I do feel sometimes down about it or think even for a moment that I’d like to have a big happy family with a huge Christmas tree and endless table scape filled with delicious food during the Christmas holidays but then I remember that the true spirit and beauty of Christmas lies within us and we should live it for ourselves and not for others or Pinterest photos.
    That being said, I also agree that when we give is much more exciting and brings much more happiness than when receiving.

    Merry Christmas!

  9. Leticia Meyer says on December 25, 2017

    Growing not up poor doesn’t mean you should feel ashamed Aimee. This post was touching & your not alone thanks for sharing. Merry & Bright days ahead. Do you take any medication for your condition? It will get better don’t worry.

  10. Symphony Barnes says on December 25, 2017

    First off, Merry Christmas, Aimee! Second, this is actually really relatable because these past Christmases have been dwindling for me, especially this year. So, I appreciate that you’re bringing up this conversation. You reminded me that even though Christmas may be slow for people like us, we don’t have to just wallow in loneliness. I like how you shared how you’ve helped the homeless and started traditions of your own. It really is important to look out for yourself and try to make the most of things. And like you said, it’s never too late to start new things. That’s something I’ve been thinking about lately, and I really need to take to heart in all aspects of my life, so thank you for putting it out there for me to see again. Anyways, loved this. End rant. xx

  11. Such a beautiful post. It’s the first year I didn’t spend the holidays with my family, so I feel that sad feeling this year. I wrote about it, if anyone wants to read you’re welcome to.

  12. Alexis Isneal says on December 25, 2017

    Aimee, sorry your family left you alone while growing up I see how you can feel so betrayed by them! Thanks for sharing your story. Did you end up going this year downtown to feed the homeless? Would love to see photos if you mind sharing. So heartwarming & that’s a wonderful feeling to help the needy.

  13. I totally see what you mean about the holidays feeling lonely, Aimee! I tend to feel that way more and more every year, and it’s odd, but I feel anxiety before Christmas, and in the last days before I drive home for the holidays I kind of dread it. Once I get there I get over it, but it is a bit daunting. Actually, what is worse for me is the New Year! I feel fomo if I do not hang out with friends, but if I hang out with them instead of my family then I also feel fomo. Either way, I feel left out and kind of alone. I don’t know that this is a solid method for coping but it’s what works for me – I have to really set aside time for myself to process that another year is passing. Really taking time for yourself during this season should be a major priority! That is all I can really say. I love the idea of giving out food to the homeless though.

  14. What a wonderfully personal and touching post, thank you for sharing! I am so glad that you have been able to reflect, and see that while the past wasn’t easy, it has 100% shaped the wonderful person you are today. Merry Christmas, Aimee!

    xx Julia

  15. Thanks so much for sharing your truth. I love you on IG and its so refreshing to know the stories that make you normal human beings like the rest of us. Not to say that you need to have sad moments to be normal, but after all, life is full of ups and downs. Im happy you pushed through and created something better for yourself and family. xoxo

  16. Cynthia says on December 25, 2017

    Oh God! This was exactly what I needed to read. For a couple of years now, I haven’t feel the holiday spirit even if I’d celebrated it with my parents and my brother, I’m really missing the huge family gatherings we had when I was younger. It’s really silly considering the fact that I’m healthy, I live near an awesome city (Paris), I have amazing people around me etc. But for some reason I’m feeling really lonely at that time of the year. Anyway I can’t wait to start my new traditions (like serving meal to people in need for example or visiting children in hospitals) and start to enjoy more and more christmas time :).

    Lots of love and thank you for being such an inspiration for people all around the world.

    God bless you <3

  17. Wasn’t expecting that but that’s another lesson on truly not basing opinions on what we see via social media.

    Im happy you turned everything on the flipside, Christmas in Korea next year I hope ^°^

    Merry Christmas from mine to yours

  18. Pingback: Merry Christmas, Starting a New Tradition – Womens Fashion

  19. Happy holidays and thank you for sharing Not every blogger has guts to tell the real story instead of showing only the “perfect side” of their life. Kind of what Pewdiepie talked in a video about forced positivity.
    Anyway I can definitely relate. Last 10 years have been in general very lonely and holidays are just awful. Especially now, after death of a parent and living alone. I try my best to ignore all the holiday stuff, but its kind of impossible. When I go on a walk sometimes in the evenings and see all the lights and happy families in their homes and stores it just makes me so sad. But like you said, I know it’s going to be alright some day. It just has to be.

  20. Since my mom passed away I didn’t like Christmas too, as it was alone without her and she passed away after Christmas, so it is always reminder, this year passed away my father so now not have parents. But I am not alone as God sent me boyfriend the year My Mom passed away -we met online and since then we were in long distance relationship- then I was praying we got together and it happend – now I spending second Christmas with him and I am not alone but I miss parents and Christmas brings me memories and sadness. But at least I have bf and I am alone and God have them on other side. Will have to start new tradition wiht my bf too as now I am in USA and its new country for me.

  21. Aimee,

    You’re clearly an amazing person. Thank you for sharing more of your heart than most bloggers ever would. Your transparency is a reason you’ve been so successful – it aids human connection. Keep it up love! I’ll always be a fan! Glad. You’ve found a a way to make the holidays a happier time. Sharing your story will help those in similar situations to feel less alone.

    Happy Holidays!